Communication is Key: What you Say and How you Say it!


By Adrienne Hancik and David Harnois

Miscommunication happens all the time between partners. Yet it’s one of the most easily avoidable issues! All you need to know is how to communicate effectively. Here are some tips on how to become better at it and, in turn, become a better partner:

1. Pick the appropriate time and place for a discussion, when you both have time and a private setting. If you have just had an argument, make sure that you have allowed time to cool off and think over the issue. Trying to communicate effectively while still angry is usually a bad idea and DO NOT try to solve a big issue via text messaging!

2. First seek to understand, and only then to be understood. Try to put yourself in their shoes to get a different perspective. Be open and try to seeing the situation the way they see it.

3. Be aware of how you say things. Tone is very crucial. Use “I” phrases like, “I felt sad when you…”

4. Think of your partner as a very sensitive person. Even if they may not show it on the outside, your partner has emotions! Always be kind with your words, respectful, and polite.

5. Don’t make assumptions. You’re not a mind-reader! So ask your partner how she/he feels if you are unsure.

6. Avoid controlling the outcome. Learn to be able to compromise equally, while respecting each other’s wishes and values. A win-win situation is possible!

7. Stay positive! Miscommunication happens to everyone. They are usually little issues that can be ironed out. Don’t blow the small issues out of proportion but DO address them if they bother you because they usually lead to something bigger.

Remember, you and your partner are a team. If you keep these tips in mind while communicating, you will be able to overcome any challenges together and come out with an even closer, loving, and more understanding bond.

Do you have more suggestions for keeping the romantic journey on course? Share them with us in our comments section!

About the authors: David works for Zoosk’s customer support. Adrienne and David are both adventurous travelers. Both being European natives, Adrienne is from the Czech Republic and David is from Belgium. After working together in 2003, they lost touch until being reconnected in 2011 by a stroke of luck. They have been together and happy since September 2011.

Photo via Flickr. License: Creative Commons Attribution-NoDerivs.

3 thoughts on “Communication is Key: What you Say and How you Say it!

  1. A great tip I learned a few years ago – when you’re discussing a problem issue, don’t look at your partner as the adversary, look at them as a teammate. The problem is the adversary, so work together to take care of it. It’s helped me more than once!

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