Keeping the Romance Alive

by Felix Benhoerster

Being in a relationship can be hard work. And anyone who disagrees is either lying
or not in a relationship. But honestly, it’s difficult to be selfless and committed to
another person all the time. Living with your significant other or spouse is obviously
a necessary step in a progressing relationship, but it also takes away the element of
excitement. Being in a long-term relationship and recently married, my wife and I
agree that one of the hardest tasks in a relationship is ‘keeping your romance alive.’
Everyone’s romance is different, but being with a woman who has stressed this for
almost 5 years, I have narrowed it down to 3 simple ways to keep that spark.

1. Be Spontaneous. Don’t get me wrong; being comfortable with someone is
wonderful, and routine can actually be very sexy. But every once in awhile (even
though they may not admit it), your significant other would love to be surprised.
Plan a mid-week date night or bring them breakfast in bed. A few years ago on
Valentine’s Day, I packed a bag and went to a friend’s house. I left a note on the
bed telling my now wife to be ready at 7 and to dress nice. I knocked on the door
(of the apartment we lived in together) at 7 o’clock sharp, showered and dressed
with flowers in hand. While we can’t go back to the beginning of our relationship
with first dates and feelings of nervousness, being spontaneous can add back that
element of excitement and anticipation that a lot of relationships lose over time.
(She still tells that story to people)

2. Celebrate. This one has been HUGE in our relationship. Celebrate everything,
anything, and just because. Whether it’s bringing home a special dessert to celebrate
the fact that it’s Thursday, a sweet greeting card recognizing your ‘month-iversary’,
or cocktails at a cool dive bar to celebrate a promotion. My wife and I recognized
and celebrated our anniversary every month for the first few years we were dating.
It always gave us something to look forward to and was a fun way to keep track of
our time together.

3. Mix it up. The classic dinner date is staple and of course romantic. But changing
it up can also add excitement. Check out a free food and music festival in your area.
Rent bikes and spend the afternoon exploring a new neighborhood. Plan a picnic
or build a fort in your living room. Whatever it is you normally do to spend time
together, try something new.

Keeping the romance alive comes in all forms. But it doesn’t require breaking the
bank or huge amounts of time. You just need a little creativity!

What keeps your romance alive? Share your thoughts in the comments below!

About the author: Felix works for Zoosk Marketing. In his spare time, he likes to play any type of sports, eat strange foods, and travel to new places whenever he gets the chance.

Image via Flickr. Creative Commons License: Attribution-NoDerivs.

35 thoughts on “Keeping the Romance Alive

  1. You hit the top 3 ways to keep romance alive perfectly.
    We always kept “date night” alive throughout our marriage. It was one sacred night just for us, no kids, work, friends, or relatives. If you combine that with your 3 ideas it would be outstanding

  2. I like the camping in the living room where we can use the walker and the wheel chair to hold the sheets we use for the tent. At 76 and 81 yrs of age, you really,really have to be creative.Its all in one days work

  3. I love the idea of mixing it up. Some of my favorite dates come from what I loved doing as a kid – laser tag, trampolines, pottery painting. When the date is unexpected it’s that much more fun.

  4. I love it and it is so true! There something that is so true about how amazing it can be to have a routine simply life and that is what makes the surprises even better!

  5. Great insight! We also make sure to schedule a date night at least every few weeks. Although it gets much tougher once kids are in the picture!

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