When you’re in a relationship but all your friends are single


by Heather Parra

It seems like a catch-22, you spend all your time thinking how great it would be to be in a relationship and have someone special, but once you find that person to be your romantic partner you look to your friends and realize they are all single and sometimes it is hard to mesh those two parts of your life. This is the situation I find myself in and have been in for quite a few years now. I have been with my husband, Alex, for over eight years and while our relationship has withstood the test of time, not many have. While we would love to have more couple friends to hang out with, we are not going to abandon our current friends because they aren’t in a relationship and we don’t want to get excluded because we are not single. Making sure you don’t slip into the relationship black hole never to see your single friends again take effort from both parties to ensure that all friendships are maintained.

When Alex and I are around our friends we try to keep the PDA to a minimum, sure we will hold hands and do the occasional kiss or hug, but it only makes the other people you are hanging out with uncomfortable if you stray further from that. We also do a lot of things that can easily accommodate both couples and singles such as having people over for a BBQ, game night, or going to a concert or sporting event. In addition, we are comfortable going out unaccompanied. Many Fridays I will go out to happy hour with my girls and Alex will hit the bars with his friends. We get some quality time with our friends and it helps them think of us as individuals rather than a single unit. Our friends make an effort to include both of us and realize that sometimes we can’t go to everything because sometimes our relationship takes priority. It isn’t easy to be in a relationship when you are surrounded by singles or vice versa. Relationships and friendships need work and as long as you can make time for both without sacrificing the other everything should work out!

About the Author: Heather works as a Senior Revenue Accountant at Zoosk.

Photo via Flickr. Creative Commons License: Attribution-ShareAlike.

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40 thoughts on “When you’re in a relationship but all your friends are single

  1. Great article and great advice! I’ve only seen articles about being single and all you’re friends are in a relationship but I like the perspective from the other side!

  2. Great article I especially like the part when you say, Its important for your friends to see you as an individual instead of one unit. This is helpful in maintaining ones idividuality with friends =]

  3. What a great blog! Finding a balance between friends and your relationship can be a challenge, but you give good advice for how to balance the two with group events, girls/guys night, and personal time for the relationship.

  4. Also I agree, keeping the PDA to a minimun is the best thing you can do to make others feel comfortable around the both of you as a couple.

  5. Yeah, it’s tough being on either side I thinkb but its all about finding that balance. More power to you Heather…you got a good thing going 🙂

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